It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
You were pretty dunk by the time you introduced the vase as your best friend.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
like seriously. this whole place is the shit. like i can move clouds. no other way to explain it but i can fucking move clouds.
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
My previously white toilet seat is now hot pink. I'm not sure why or how but I know it's your fault.
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I sense lesbianism
That's a weird power
Definitely went down on him last night while he was wearing a cape. He randomly kept swirling it around me and "revealing me" in the mirror like a magic trick. I'm not even a little upset, it's fun fucking younger guys.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
