Ryan Ross and Jon Walker left panic at the disco today.
I predict a mass suicide of the 14 year old girl population...
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
it's not a party till someone uses the fire extinguisher.
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
buying my parents vodka for Christmas is like buying a normal person socks.
Wait wait wait. I remember riding in her car to the next bar. On your lap. With my head on the dashboard. That probably should have been my cut off point.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
Don't act like you're not jealous that I disappeared into the closet to blow my husband. Marriage = all the cock I want.
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
im gonna miss him. and by him, i mean his dick
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