saw "Pah-jure" lube. Thought of you. Wearing the same clothes to work tomorrow.
I stayed in, ate a pint of Hagen daas and watched a movie about aids. Soooooooo single.
i DID NOT walk around with my knees bent and my hands behind my back with long spandex and underarmour pretending to be Apollo Ono
last night i found out that my 11 year old cousin used me as an example of what not to do in her D.A.R.E. speech. awesome.
All I know is for some reason I was sitting naked in the hallway playing an invisible ukulele singing somewhere over the rainbow. I wonder why security came.
The thing is you're all "holy crap this isn't nearly as bad as I thought pissing on my own face would be."
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
stuck in the elevator with that hot guy from the 3rd flood. Worried he can smell my spray tan and desperation
Ugh. I'm going to die alone, sister. Half-eaten by one of my thirty-seven cats and clutching a martini shaker
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
Randomize
