just got waxed at a place I havent been to in a while
woman didnt remember me then in the middle of waxing she announced that she just didnt recognize my face
you kept typing in answers.com, why are the state police calling my house, expecting an answer
His room was full of guns. It was like having sex with Clint Eastwood.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
and my loofah got caught on my nipple ring in the shower today. what an awful experience.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
Our first crop came in on the day that they added Hercules to Netflix Instant, I think it's the universe telling us that it approves of us growing shrooms in our guest room.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
He took me home and by the time I woke up after catching up on sleep I realized I accidentally put on one of his fiances socks. whoops.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
I told him to not try to hang out with me ever again and now I regret it Bc im bleeding through my uterus and just want him to suck on my aching nipples
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
