My moms helping me unpack but im getting a little nervous because I dont remember where i put my dildo
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
You've got more to offer than just money. Come on. You have an awesome rack.
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
Hello my rib-scented angel!
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
Will you skip merrily into hell with me?
Randomize
