thanks...oh and i got my period
told you
oh hush
Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
apparently i was cut off before i even walked in
The last thing I remember is ordering two Martinis while yelling 'CAN YOU PUT THAT IN ONE GLASS?'
Todays life lesson brought to you by last nights half pitchers of cheap sangria: you'll never get the stain or the SMELL of sangria vomit out of your bedroom carpet.
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Is this the point in which we come to terms with our lesbianism or is that after you send me more ass pics...
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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