she just sneezed while going down on me. is it rude for me to ask her to do it again?
I'm sorry that you don't think that "Daddy Issues" are a real thing, but I can tell you that some assholes who never went to their daughter's dance recitals are responsible for getting me laid...continuously.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
All I did was present the dick. You did the work. That's like thanking the pencil for a test you got an A on.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Ice cream: Good. Fraternity: Good. Eating ice cream off a Skid Row bum's ass crack in order to get into a Fraternity: Homoerotic at best. I quit.
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Well you were listening to music and having sex really loudly. How was I supposed to know you'd hear me making rocket sounds?
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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