ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
Would you mind pretending to be lesbians just for like three emails?
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Nothing says "I'm sorry for shitting in your bed" like an Olive Garden gift card
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
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