It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You're surprisingly coherent for someone who thinks her couch is breathing.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
The fairy wings and cowboy hats were not the issue. The bag of cocaine that I held in the air as we drove in the parade might have been.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
On a brighter more disgusting note...... I think I just shart myself but I'm too afraid to find out.
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