i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
THC water in my coffee on the way to work. How's your Tuesday?
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
So, I found your eyebrow, someone glued it in between my eyebrows so I looked like I had a unibrow when I went to work...
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
Randomize
