Why did you send me a picture of a dick?
It was an accident sry. Not mine tho.
I woke up at 11 this morning in my car parked in front of the bar.
I know, I tried to wake you up, but I couldnt. So I walked home
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
Your shoe was in the washing machine. I have it in my pocket. My phone rang before and I answered your shoe. Meet me at the bar in 10.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
i'm licking honey sensually off my arm while alone in my room. what has my life come to
I can't believe you cupped pat's balls to prove your fake relationship
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