I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
Id settle for living inside the pirates of the carribean ride.
And I feel like pitchers of margaritas accidentally make it down your throat a lot.
I mean, the lady at the Mexican restaurant insisted. She said she would win a prize if she sold another pitcher before noon. And plus I got to wear a sombrero
if all that ever happens for the rest of forever is drinking wine and eating popcorn, ill be okay
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Please hurry up and come back. This is so awkward. He's showing me banana videos.
Hahah. They reconnected again?
Like with his penis I guess
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
WHO DOES THAT ON A TUESDAY? This is not a Drake joke, the girl doesn't turn up OR down. She doesn't do anything.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
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