I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
Well I'll be shitfaced all day the 4th in honor of this great nation... but I'm down for drunken camping/nature fucking on the 5th
Should I be concerned that the new guy I'm seeing just referred to my stealing a sailboat in college while drunk as "wholesome"?
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I got a message the other day that just said “great tits”
A gentleman AND a scholar
You got into an extremely loud argument with a juggalo and slapped him, he started crying and everyone cheered.
I remember that, it happened before I started drinking. I thought you said I did something shameful?
Randomize
