So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
You wouldn't stop crying and screaming Hilary Duff doesn't deserve Gossip Girl
all you kept saying from the spare room was "can you bring me a puke bowl...and the cat"
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
You ninja crawled over five sleeping guys to get in my room at 6 in the morning to wake me up for sex
...and I think that may just be my favorite moment in our fuckbuddyship
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
We got a noise complaint for vacuuming too much but not for getting really high and yelling about peanut butter
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
Randomize
