So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
I saw two morbidly obese women get winded after fighting over the last motorized wheelchair at Walmart
These are the moments in life you observe a force greater than us at work
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i'm almost done photoshopping my face on his wife. it's a done deal
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
Last week in my political science paper I quoted the Mighty Ducks. This week, I compared the Constitution to a weird pickle law in Connecticut (by law, it's not a pickle unless it bounces). So, yeah, clearly I'm ready to be back to being a college student.
YO I WASNT TRYING TO MAKE A PASS AT YOU.... Or Jesus
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
