my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
Friends bring friends secret work margaritas. my pink water bottle is in the cupboard
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
And he listens to me when I talk to him like the hulk.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Did you happen to find my bra? I'm pretty sure I still had it on before we left that bar
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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