Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
Probably, but last night was a special kind of drunk. It was a "let's see how drunk I can get without killing myself" drunk.
Dude idk, apparently telling two drunk chicks 'that's whats up' after watching them lick eachother's face wasn't the compliment they were looking for. I mean I was fucking hammered.
Wow.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Thanks, girl! That means a lot. I can't wait to share my jail stories with you over salad and cupcakes.
I have bite marks all over my ass. Is that an acceptable excuse for missing class?
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
Why is it that the asexual in our group is the one that gets laid the most often??
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
Randomize
