Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
What do I have to do to get you laid? I talked to that girl with the ugly dog for 45 minutes trying to get you in, and all you said was "Steven Spielberg is my favorite director."
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
You also hate cartoons and musicals, so I will take that to mean the movie was as awesome as I thought it was..smoke weed
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
Today was brought to you by the letter B for beer and bourbon and the number fuck you I'm meant to be studying not hungover
Getting a UTI was SO NOT on my wishlist for the holidays
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
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