My room smells like vodka and shame
I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I just had a librarian tell me that "wikipedia is like sex"
When he expanded on the analogy it actually made sense. "you're going to do it either way, so I'm just going to tell you how to do it safely."
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
I broke the girls bed. I will not apologize about bragging.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
Just saw the mall santa roll by on a rascal scooter holding a chic-fil-a milkshake and stop to chat up trio of cute 20-somethings. New hero.
I was so horny last night, I failed to let him know about my current bed bug infestation.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
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