how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
He just took a bite of each taco bell burrito and hid them throughout my apartment. this was 2 weeks ago and have found 30 burritos so far
There is nothing quite so pathetic as sitting in bed in your underwear eating easy mac in complete silence, waiting for Netflix to load
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
yeah, i'm probably gonna die. still gonna be totally worth it tho
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
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