Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
i have it on good authority that she is not as good at giving head as she claims she is
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
He told him to "throw up in my mouth like I'm a baby bird."
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Don't get me wrong, I love talking about lube and such, but why are we?
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
But think about it. I could put her gold medal around my penis
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I sent my roommate a text from MY phone that said, "I don't know where my phone is." Must've been a good night.
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
ok first of all what the fuck
Randomize
