end the night at a gay bar...not sure how...but why the fuck do i have two condoms in my pocket?
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Public safety found my id!
And i can't find my bra so i'm assuming they found my bra with my id which would explain the disapproving tone the lady on the phone had.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
I think I dropped my cock ring in your back yard
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
How much do souls cost? I feel like I need one if those.
He shit in the fireplace
The fact that I’m not married yet means there are millions of lucky girls out there who have dodged a bullet
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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