I proposed and she said yes man.
You realize the irony of surrendering on independence day, right?
going to class early so i have time to go on the moonbounce. this is why i go to art school.
Listen, this was just a tiny lapse of judgement.
I'm pretty sure that's not a synonym for pregnancy.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
you said "i met the love of my life tonight" and i said "me?" and you said "no, hummus"
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
And then you two got up and shouted in near perfect unison "I'M ALWAYS A SLUT FOR BASKIN ROBBINS" The bar just looked at us horrified.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
So if my boyfriend and I hooked up with the same girl it’s not like I cheated. It’s communal.
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Randomize
