i mistaked the back of her knee for her vagina
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
My niece just unknowingly cock blocked me. Obviously, someone won't be getting a christmas present this year.
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I kept on yelling at him to get his shit together as he was puking
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
she was puking nonstop out of the car window in the rain during our hour long drive back, we got lot of honks
You came out in nothing but lingerie and a Jedi robe claiming you needed more of those baby hot dog things or you were gonna go all Sith on us
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
Did you know that chef boy-ar-dee was a real person? I watched a show about him. the history of the ravioli is more scandalous than you would think.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
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