why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
Guy just rode past on a lowrider bike smoking a blunt, I want his life
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