I dont get chicks, its like they only care about themselves and money
sounds like you understand them just fine
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
All I know is that your reaction after this date with him was "I think I did cocaine" so I'm sold on this boy
His personality is sparkling but nothing beats his ass
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
He slapped my ass and his clap-on light turned on.
The people at subway are so judgy when you stop to get a sandwhich on your walk of shame
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
His mom showed up at my doorstep, begging me to take him back for him
Where do you find these people?
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
My butthole is tingling. Must be the grapefruit juice
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