I just walked into his bathroom to see two poops floating... no toilet paper. WTF!?
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
I literally had to tap out of the blow job. It was like a pornographic wrestling match
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
I'm not saying I'm drunk, but I'm definitely saying my liver has its work cut out for it.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
At least you didn't get an invite in the mail to your fuck buddy's baby shower like I just did. My life is a sitcom
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
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