i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
Dude its barely eleven am and there is already a firetruck and ambulance at the shamrock...happy st paddys day
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
bad news.. campus security walked me home last night and when i tried to tell them where i lived they assured me they knew where our house was.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
You call it sex. I call it penis conditioning.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
But seriously like how many girls do you know that will do that on the first date?
One?
ONE! And it was was glorious!
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