The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you never know when you'll meet the man of your dreams and bang him in an elevator
she is graduated, working for the school, and puking in the bathroom of a frat house. she wants brush her hair so she doesnt "look trashy". im in love.
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
I think they were cool with it, they should have know if I was the host of the baby shower it was going to involve a keg and jager shots.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
I an in a belgian bar and i cant understand shit. Trying to talk to strangers. Getting drunk until we all speak the same language. Brace for updates.
CORAL IS FAR MORE RED THAN HER LIPS RED
Oh god you're Sonnet 130 drunk, aren't you.
Are you the reason I woke up without pants?
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