Steel Reserve is the RC Cola of alcohol. It's never ok.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
She fuckin peed on me
Stay golden ponyboy
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
That's just weird. That doesn't make sense sexually at all. I mean, you might as well tape a pen to the tip and try and write your name while you're at it.
I have 7 papers to write and I already bought gas station ice cream in my pjs and questioned whether or not a beer float was a thing.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
What if he turns back to me, finds me seemingly fondling my breasts, and thinks I'm turned on by eagles?
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
Randomize
