Bring booze and chicks. Separate, or one already in the other. Your call.
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
I think it might be brain cancer. Hangovers can't be this bad
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
So i know you wont get this until you land, but if i'm late its cause i was having sex. being blunt and hope that explains things.
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
OMG bikini contest at the bar. You can see this one chicks scar from her c-section and I'm pretty sure she is the best of the bunch.
At front desk. Got a beer drinking pigeon.
No, she isn't nearly as crazy as the girl who wanted to wear a vial of my semen as a necklace.
And after we were done he said "Let's play a game! Who can find their clothes first"
Oh fuck, I messaged a Jack Kerouac poem to a girl I'm trying to sleep with last night at 4am.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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