woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Last night you tried to pee on my bed...in the hallway...your room...and the showers. When I finally got you on the toilet you passed out.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
She was throwing my stuff away and then before I knew it she was sucking my dick. It was like some fucked up sour patch kids commercial
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
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