bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
Just cause I'm shitfaced wasted every night waking up in random beds all over Manhattan does not mean I'm a mess.
Truth. Respect the hustle.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
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