well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I just asked the bartender if I could get insurance on my drink in case I spilled it.
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
If anything I look like a soccor mom going out for her annual ladies night. Trying hard, but not quite in her twenty's anymore.
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
Randomize
