i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
Yeah. I don't think I have anything left in me tho. I think I was throwing up tangible memories at one point.
I'll just be sleeping in this laundry room. Come get me at bar close.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He sat on me and said I owed him $10, when I asked why he just said "lap dance"
I wish they would just make alcoholic protein shakes already.
This medicine is making me nuts. I just woke up and I thought I was in a glass case with Asians staring at me.
I've decided to take one for the team and bang the landlady for lower rent.
Funny story... I got into my car and my porn started playing over my Bluetooth.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
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