you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
I was going through my mom's high school yearbook...almost half the people who signed it referred to her as "Karen Smokejoints", "Confused Karen", or drew a picture of a joint. I have never felt more like her daughter.
next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
Woke up to pictures of me cooking wings with a blow torch.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
So, my love of dick may have landed me in a cult. On the bright side, I now have a discount at Spencer's.
I'm gonna tell the medical examiner that your cause of death was over-arousal.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
Randomize