I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
I am currently trying to use a tide to go pen to remove the jizz from my backseat, it's not working...
he borrowed my computer and saw his name in my recent google searches. Things got awkward real fast.
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
Just did a walk of shame dressed as a cowgirl and walked past his ex's entire sorority. Yippee kye aye, motherfucker.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Lazier than spoon feeding yourself popcorn and debating adult diapers so you don't have to leave the mentalist marathon on tv?
I think i was just meant to be a stripper. A ballerina stripper cat
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
IM WEARING A FLAG
So that's a no to the clothes then
FLAG
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
you were just in my dream and you looked at me and said "Christmas is cold." I think you're wasted even in my dreams.
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