my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
after giving me morning oral, he left saying "hate to eat and run but..." oh yeah, he's getting a second date.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
We were making condiment sandwiches, then her husband kept trying to get me to sleep with her. I hate being the only lesbian at the party.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
She's on her period. You don't know what fear is.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
Yeeah, I think a threesome is one of those wedding presents you can't register for at Bed Bath And Beyond..
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
The people at Perkins seem so judgemental. Big deal if i'm handcuffed to stripper in a star-n-stripes bikini. We still gotta eat.
Randomize
