You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
Just crushed a xanax into my chewing gum. Its gonna be a long, fucking up flight...
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
Apparently I'm not allowed to call at 3am anymore and ask to speak to all his siblings. I was just trying to get to know the family
I think we need to have a day of drinking in classes. I know we don't share any, but sacrifices need to be made.
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
How'd the date with the redheaded dentist go?
She didn't like my gingervitis joke
Once you share a nude experience with someone and three Norwegian guys, you're bound for life.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
we need to tell them stories about when happens when we're sober so they think they know what they're in for when they're actually completely unprepared for whn happens when we get drunk
This chick walked up to me in the bar and started making out with me, then grabbed my drink while I wasn't looking and walked off.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
Randomize
