Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Where??
Against the wall. In corner. Only gave him head though don't worry
He called me "the Joe Montana of blowies." Not sure if that is an accomplishment or an insult, but going off of the amount of condensation on the windows of my car, I'm gonna just do a little touchdown dance and pass out.
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
It doesn't matter if I tell the story beginning to end or end to beginning, the story still starts with a random girl blowing me in the bathroom.
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
nah we got kicked outta the bar after the bouncer saw us putting straws up Chelsea's nose to make her look like a walrus after she fell asleep at the table
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I had to have my mom pick me up from the party and the windows lock was on so when I went to projectile vomit out the window it wouldn't roll down and it splashed back at my face.
well after pounding on the ceiling for 5 mins i just went up there to tell them to shut up.. 2 hours later i'm naked, high, lying on their kitchen floor. it escalated so quickly
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
Woke up in a bathtub with both of my legs broken. How was your night?
So... Sex in my rain boots last night. Trashy or a great show of character?
If it was with a guy, trashy. Sex with a girl is never trashy.
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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