please keep texting me so i can pretend someone likes me
People are suprisingly accepting of someone doing a walk of shame in a toga...
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
Don't you hate it when all three people suddenly sober up in the middle of a threesome. Awwwwkward.
He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I slept awesome next to you. You're like an electric blanket that I can have morning sex with.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
At 3:00am my whole house started smelling like cooking meat. I have no idea why she thought it was a good idea to crock-pot a WHOLE turkey that early in the morning.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
You poured all their beer into ziploc baggies so it would be "better on the go"
Seriously though, I walked in and he was holding my cat in the air singing "the circle of life"...
Randomize
