maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Living well is not the best revenge. Fucking his brother is.
I'm in Target and the lady in front of me is buying three Summer's Eve douches, a box of fishsticks and a giant bottle of vodka. The sad thing is I get it.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
Yeah. 11 people shoved in a clown car for a 1 hour party. I'm too old for house parties.
Randomize
