And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
No, no... it's pale and surrounded by awkward, curly, red hair. It's the Ronald McDonald of penises.
It's a sit down to pee kind of hangover
Walked in the bathroom at work and my boss was taking a shit with the stall wide open and responded "oh yeah, I forgot you never have been to prison "
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
eh, I feel I'm heading for a breakdown and I need to get it out of the way before I start writing that lab report.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
