Remember when you weren't going to be a shit show?
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
she kept yelling 'call me bella'
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You handed some guy a spoon you found, he yelled SPOON GAME, and then the two of you spent the next 20 minutes throwing spoons all over the kitchen.
her 18 year old son fed me pieces of a french roll like a pigeon, as I lay on the floor of the bathroom crying.
Why do I think he'd like to keep my hair in a box?
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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