Dude, this chick just tossed my salad hard. All that I could picture was a dog trying to get the last of the peanut butter out of the jar of Jiff and trying not to think of how grotesque my last dump was.
Then she tried to kiss me and I wouldn't and she got pissed off and went to sleep. Then about an hour later, her kid called her. She went home and on the way out I told her to wash her mouth before she kissed her kid good night. Weird night..
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
Just met a female bro. Things are weird at the rugby party.
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
If you can get laid in a rudolph onesie you are doing something right my friend.
I miss eating meals at a table and having unprotected sex..
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
Have you ever forgotten how to pee? I did last night. Standing in front of the urinal with dick in hand. WTF were we drinking???
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