Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
He saw my tits then looked up and yelled thank you jesus as loud as he could
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
i have received so many congratulations texts this morning. sleeping with him really was a good decision.
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If i want her back i know all i have to do is sleep with a specific handful of her closest friends. That method is tried and true.
So half of us were already throwing up outside when the Ukrainians ask us if we're ready to start partying yet. I love this country.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
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Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I know we're not on great terms here, but I need to know if you're still available for sexual activity...cause if not I need to get going on a work-out plan.
in fetal position in his closet not sure if he knows im here... hugging his spongebob cake pan i stole.... now please come find me..
Let’s try it, I’ve never had a bad time with sex, tacos and beer.
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