if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
my dad just encouraged me to do a kegstand
I wont touch it. I promise i wont touch it. JUST GET UNDER THE DAMN TABLE PLEASE.
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I know it basically makes me the worst feminist ever, but I don't want to kill my own spiders. And I will pay my personal spider hit man with sammiches and unlimited , uninhibited access to my vagina.
This was the first time I've ever pushed myself until I vomited. Sorry, random couple laying on a dock at 8:30am. I would have picked a better spot so you didn't have to watch/listen to me vomit, but you guys were being MAD quiet. I had no idea you were there.
would you like to venture to the magical clitoris forest?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Do you not realize that being Batman fulfills about 95% of my non-sexual fantasies?
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
Randomize
