I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
Well we were just driving down the street, there was a realtor and a couple walking up the porch of a house for sale, mark sticks his head out, opens his mouth to say something, pukes all down the side of the car, pauses, and yells "THIS IS A PHENOMAL NEIGHBORHOOD YOURE GONNA LOVE IT"
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
I don't think everyone found it as funny as I did... Nothing says "Party's Over" like the sound of a pump action shotgun.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Today's goal is to get out of bed, before I take a shit. This might be hard
Pass or fail tho
I Have a huge scrape on my knee and I need a better excuse than dry humping on a park bench...
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
Someone drank my pedialite!
YOU drank your pedialite. I watched you chase shots with it!
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