When she said "surprise me" I'm positive she didn't mean "bang my roommate"
Prob not but she was surprised
see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I'm proud of us, I'm cleaning up the place and I haven't found a single beer can that isn't empty.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How is it possible that i have sex with a guy and he makes YOU breakfast
I told the bartender that he could give me back the tip I gave him if he outsmarted me in a battle of wits. He has yet to challenge me.
Can we dedicate this weekends marathon sexcapades to all the haters?
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you know it's been too long when the heat of a pizza box on your lap turns you on.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
Aaaaaaaand dick pic. God bless america, and god bless tinder.
Drunk field day, hangover yoga and sober archery practice
I never imagine I'd say this, but can I ask Jeff for the butt plugs back even though it was a gift and we broke up?
What did you do with the dog when you went into the club?
coat checked
Randomize