I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
I even resorted to pole dancing with the street sign. I have an extra $20 now because I think people were paying me to leave.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
Sweating vodka and spray tan, I feel like a trophy wife.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
Good night I hope you dream about knitting and threesomes
Bud... Did you mean to tweet a picture of your dick? If not just letting you know.
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
Let's take a shot for every time we've said "I don't want to get that drunk tonight"
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
oh, he’s out of jail btw. as of about 6pm. one of his customers bonded him out apparently lol
Like he really got a coke fiend to bond him out?
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
