Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
My poo smells like dog food. That's how I know it was a good night.
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
On the bright side I got 500 American Express points paying for the abortion
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
You just sat there and yelled "I JUST WANT TO RUB MY NIPPLES"
It's two in the afternoon, I'm on my third glass of wine and I'm watching Lambchop on youtube. How do you think I feel right now?
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
He was really cute! And I know but it's just like getting my fix ya know? He's basically a human vibrator.
Randomize
