Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
Omg have I shown you my skeezy ex fiancée?
The other one.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
I'm so high that a guy on TV just sneezed and I said "bless you."
Randomize
