OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Lets go to the mall and pick up some fat chicks and take them out tonight so we can be the skinny friends
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
The bosnian sent me a sext with his dick next to a comcast remote. It went up to the "stop" button. Ironic and appropriate. Grab your remote and imagine it.
You've ruined television for me.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
He goes "hi, free today?" WHEN AM I EVER FREE ON A SATURDAY, I GOT HUNGOVER TO BE AND DRUNK TO GET.
You've reached your one pic per night limit. To increase your limit, start conversations before 9 and submit your request for an additional pic before 10.
Highlight your past hook-ups. You've been stabbed, shot at, run over, and chased down the road...no you can't bring new bar bitch over here!
Dude she has a friend!!!!
Randomize
