Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
didn't realize her mom was home while we were fucking, but she's oddly okay with it. she made us food afterwards. but then kept talking about having grand kids the whole time. is it time to bail?
If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
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