I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Did you ever notice that cashews look like fetuses?
shit pants at work. discarded underwear.
just showed this text to the guy at west elm. luckily we did not stool ourselves in the midst of the ensuing hilarity. so you're commando now?
yep! most awkward part is that i was a few feet away from a client, talking and looking him in the eye. i've never stooled while looking someone directly in the eye.
Spotted on freeway- girl in ford focus takes a hit from a 7 inch pipe while knee driving. She winked at me. I want her life.
you were the other women for BOTH people in the relationship?
We walked into the bar in The Flying V formation from The Mighty Ducks. We were ready.
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Had the longest conversation today with a potentially homeless cuban woman about mind control.
If you happen to tell anybody my drunk story in the near future, please refrain from telling them about me shitting myself. People are getting the wrong idea and random people are messaging me on Facebook making fun of me for that
I ran into the bouncer who kicked me out of that beach bar a few months ago. I told him I'd only been thrown out of two other places since then. He was proud.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
Randomize
