I had a long pep-talk with my penis that ended in "I love you, I'll try harder and I'm sorry."
As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Randomize
