Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
He did the "not my house dance." Apparently it involves spreading cereal on the floor and then grinding into the carpet in bare feet while singing "not my house" over and over and dancing.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Apparently I tried to convince him to sleep with me by showing him that I could do dips....
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
He literally just patted me on the vagina and said goodnight to it.
Woke up in a fanny pack with a bag of cocaine on my cheek
I'm super depressed and stressed and I just want spaghetti and sex...
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
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