like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
You owe me $8 for the carwash I needed after you threw the salmon on my windshield.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
Let's discuss options later this evening. I'll draw out said options and compare and contrast the "accessibility" of the costume for quickies. Because you never know. Halloween is full of surprises. I'll also compare practicality, level of skank, and creative features.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Throwing up while listening to NPR because I’m trying to adult through this hangover
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
Randomize
