I showed my boss the "She Wolf" video. He sent it to all his friends and told me to make us martinis...thanks Shakira and keep it up
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Have you ever seen a porn where they were playing bluegrass in the background?
she made me take her to the grocery store to buy a gallon of sweet tea and a shit ton of band aids, the cashier asked if someone was hurt and she replied "not yet.."
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
It's ok, it's locked within patented Sealrite technology. That puke is staying fresh
She moaned the name on my fake id during sex, that or she's cheating on me with someone named Victor
Its my nipple ring piercing anniversary. We need to celebrate.
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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