The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
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I need a $60 an hour job, because I have a $50 an hour drinking habit.
We'll probably be arrested for having a cheetah in our apartment anyway, so I say go for it.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
My mom had to physically restrain me because I wouldn't stop acting like a dinosaur.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
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She was blowing me when her roommate came in and goes "you want me to tap in?"
You realize once your inheritance is finalized this shit will stop happening right?
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
If my emotions are below a 3 or above a 7, I'm crying
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
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