I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
rhymes with "ouble enetration"
nutella sex= disaster
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Hey please buy toilet paper today. Plastic grocery bags are starting to hurt now
The 78 year old woman who works next to me divorced her ex husband, remarried her first husband, and retired all in one day. I'd say it makes your breakup on Valentine's day pretty insignificant.
He yelled "Go Ducks" while he came
Im going to hell I gave him a handjob on the plane next, to an old guy playing video games on his iPad, on good friday.
I have a guy for practically everything... except for making me waffles on demand. will u be my waffle guy?
how should I feel if a guy kept complimenting my bangs while I was giving him a blowjob?
So you just held his hand and he fucking came...?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
Randomize
