Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Drinking Grey Goose on the toilet. Don't make me graduate.
Before he took my jeans off all he said was "no hard feelings from middle school right?"
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I just slapped my cat in the face with my dildo. You were the only one I could tell.
He probs deserved it.
Every good man does.
I have this strange craving to see a really fat person go down a slipnslide
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
I broke up with him in the bar & then asked him if he wanted to have a contest to see who gets the most numbers. I say I took that break up well
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
Do you always skip to "Baby Got Back" when fat girls show up at the bar?
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Randomize
