you kept screaming that dicks were growing out of your back and then you started crying cause they were so far from your vag
could you get any more awkward?
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
u think ur still drunk from last night? i just put the eggs in the freezer and the remote in the sink. I don't wanna fucking hear it.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
ugh... thank God for ATM withdrawal limits. I was drunk enough to give that weird shaped stripper all of my money while making her cry in the back room.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
It's gay pride, I'm in my EMT uniform getting more girls than your straight ass ever will..
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
