So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
she asked me if I wanted a handjob on the haunted mansion ride at Disney. was I suposed to say no?
sexting on a treadmill. speed 9.0 beat that slut!
he rubbed his balls on my face to wake me up.. this friends with benefits thing is getting out of hand.
i told my boss i want to eat her tits. 90 percent sure i'm getting fired
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
Hu mahhiw im so tired.i just got done. In fo dleepu. Aaaaaaahh. I qisj my mom filmed me. In axtunf so funny
Im in the STD packet for new students this year. And im going to be plastered tonight so be forewarned
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Most violent shit of my life. New Years resolution of eating better is already kicking me in the face.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
All I heard was "sit on my face" "okay" and muffled screaming. I'm still disappointed.
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