who do you think you are?
someone who doesn't ask that question
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
Its people like u that make people like me go to rehab. He has a lazy eye for christ sakes.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
I'm not saying you did or didn't sleep with him but he's has your thong hanging from his ceiling fan
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I'm feeding a baby and swiping on tinder...what has my life come to?!?!
Randomize
