Kiss
Puke
I only had sex with her cause she looked like jwoww from jersey shore
I hope as the only other living being in this apartment you can explain to me why the toilet was full of cheerios this morning.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Everything was good until you pulled the bartenders hair because she cut you off
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
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