i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
thats the only time ive ever had sloppy firsts
i just googled "who won the civil war" . how can i still have a 97% in this class?
I feel like I have African malaria. I just remembered singing Teenage Dream in full to that biker couple at the bar.
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Penises. Everywhere.
You're. Welcome.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
There should be a company that sends nadgrams. They're like candy grams except the recipient gets kicked in the balls.
You know the cave of wonders in Aladdin? That's how I feel about his apartment. Except with blow and other treasures.
Explain the King Dong next to my face.
He managed to crash an entire train of shopping carts into a wall. I think he noticed my implants.
I just sent my ex off to a party, threw a condom at him, and told him to make good choices.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Indeed. If boner pill commercials have taught us anything, it's the importance of waiting until the moment is right.
Where else would I get life advice?
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Randomize
