i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I can't breathe out the right side of my face
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
And then he came out of the bathroom in a kimono
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
1. I drank goldschlager 2. I fell in a bathtub and hit my head (hard) on a soap dish. 2. I sat in said bathtub talking to a random stranger on vacation from wyoming (who i met at a 711 looking for taquitos) for almost an hour. 3. We got kicked out of said bathtub by owner of bathtub. 4. We had sex.
Randomize
