There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
Just brushed my teeth...forgot we used this toothbrush in bed last night.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
i definitely just woke up with half of a cigarette tucked underneath my balls. Last night must have been interesting
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
The number of times I've puked in the Walgreens bathroom is becoming way too many for my pride.
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
Who told you that acid and Jurassic World was a good idea?
dont remember, but I'm pretty sure I was convinced that the hybrid dinosaur was satan the whole time. It was actually very spiritual
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
I had a dream I hooked up with Post Malone. I can still smell the dream
Randomize
