our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
he saw my boobs and came all over himself... there goes my whole night.
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Guys always stop talking to me right around the point that if they bought me food a couple times I would probably have sex with them.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
If my neighbors have super loud sex again tonight, I'm going to leave a ball-gag and roll of duct tape in their mail slot.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
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