Come see our sink grown plant.
if i find out your the one who pierced my belly button im going to fuck your sister again
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
I will come to your office dressed as a bloody mary, hug you then leave is that a good plan?
yes. bring a barf bucket too. just. in. case.
I hate that he uses me for something other than sex. What does he think I am? His girlfriend? Ha.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
Just caught myself checking an online porn site while in a strip club. Might have a problem.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
We're gonna start a pole dancing competition or a bar fight. Stand by for results.
Never in my life have I been so excited to nap as I am right now.
Don’t say some truly stupid shit like that to me. In a kitchen. Where the knives are kept
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
The night got way more interesting after Jimmy started doing summersaults in front of the bar.
Randomize
