Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Hit a parked car with a "property of Jesus Christ" bumper sticker. Wrote out five hail mary's and left it on the windshield.
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
He took a shot, then proceeded to puke into the bucket he was iceing his broken foot in
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
I'm so festive that I used my jack o lantern bucket as a just in case barf bin
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
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