I'm going to save the lime from my McDonald's salad to use in my Corona later tonight.
Using pot as a way to stop crying probably isn't a good sign huh?
Meh, some people pop Prozac, you smoke weed. Po-tay-to. po-tah-to
I fuked that chick last night and she kept saying, "oh...oh....oh", like Bill Lumberg
so what did you do?
I did the mash I did the monster mash It was a graveyard smash!
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
She's using our floating beer pong table as an air mattress to sleep on.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
you regret 100% of the tequila shots you do take. thats what gretzky meant to say
I need to find another hobby that doesn't include being hungover.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
You thanked me for a delicious cock and tacos...
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
I just timed my pee with a stop watch. From when the main stream started to ended. It was 45.1 seconds. This is the truth trust me.
Randomize
