I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
we just got kicked out of the mexican restaurant. i have a full pitcher of margarita's hiding under my coat.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I'm never celebrating Galentine's Day again. It was a whorrific mess.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
I can't wait to get to LA so I can punch her in the face
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
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