i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
gotta love it when a reminder comes up on your phone and u think u forgot about a meeting or something then u read it and its only to remind me to go to the titty bar at 3
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
If I sleep with another Spanish guy it is officially renamed my senor year.
We're about to have a bottle rocket fight on jetskis. You have 5 minutes to get on our level.
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
My goal for the night is to see your housemate's one lonely teste.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
The hot streak continues..if life was NBA jams i would be "on fire" right now
He has a beach house and a Simba tattoo. Our wedding is next Tuesday, hope you're free.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
Randomize
