Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
lol whn u cming hre I nd 2 c ur fce
IF YOU TEXT ME ONE MORE SHORTENED VERSION OF A WORD, THE ONLY THING YOU'LL SEE IS MY FIST IN YOUR FACE.
Trying to find something to do here is like trying to find a vegan resturant in alabama.
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
Seriously. He was just sitting there naked in the dark with a boner pissed that I came home late.
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
This was the fourth year in a row I got arrested at Pride. Pretty sure that qualifies me as a legend.
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
Randomize
