shes hot in the i'd deny it if anyone asked kinda way
May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You told her the u were going to wrap your dick around her neck and start her like a lawn mower. thats why she left.
So I've only had a mustache for about 5 minutes and I'm already pretty sure it's the best decision I've ever made.
I hope there's a soldier with a Bedazzler just going to town right now.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
I'm like an air traffic controller of women. It's a very similar job. Well spaced and gentle landings are good. When they meet, it's bad. Explosions bad. Dying screaming burning children bad.
Do you sleep with the same women I've already slept with on purpose?
There is a huge fucking spider in my bathroom....I can just burn our apartment down right? What do you need me to grab?
Don't do tequila. The Devil himself spits into shot glasses and we call it tequila. You will do bad things.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
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