Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
walking home from your place the other day I saw a man with a ponytail sitting on some church steps petting a plant
he should get drunk with us
I really liked your hair last night but that style makes it really hard to hold it while you puke
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
America approved of our night. A bald eagle flew over us at 7am
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
Also, my drunkenly packed sleepover kit consisted of a singular sock, my uncharged laptop, and a pack of post-it notes.
I'm gonna do some tripping... In the direction of balls
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
I never want to do this again, I'm going to chew off several fingers and apply for disability
are we fucking for lunch or am I using my vibrator ?
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
