Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
Drinking from the bottle. In bed. Making dinosaur noises. Oh man.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Randomize
