I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
you should be back in the room by now but just so you know. you passed out at the black jack table and they wheel chaired you out. strip club in about 45 minutes. game face bro.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
I would rather deep fry my own cock while it's still attached to me than have his life.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
We can't go back there. Ever. No context required, just know it's true.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
Randomize
