I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
tonight, alcohol would be proud of us
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
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New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
I just wish I could congratulate your tits on how much I love seeing them
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
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