so..some girl walked up to me on the porch last night. She came to apologize for peeing on our lawn a few days ago. I just looked at her and said it was ok, she wasn't the first.
just got hammed at grandma and grampas 30th aniversary bash .. from the looks i was getting im guessing i wont be seeing an inheritance ...
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
When you left the bar, you did two cartwheels and a heel click and RAN ALL THE WAY HOME.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
You're breaking my sexual little heart
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
This is not a test of the emergency warning system. He has broken my vagina. I repeat he has broken my vagina. Damn it was good.
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