went in for an STD check and they referred me to an alcohol and drug councilor. kick me when i'm down.
i say over christmas we have a beer pong competition with the cousins and see who really has the best genes in the family.
I couldn't walk, so he carried me all the way home; and then I told him that I wasn't drunk enough to fuck him. Poor kid.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
