Dude michael jackson died, guess he's not 'stayin aliveee' any longer.
Uh dude that wasn't a michael jackson song it was the BGs
i really wish james franco would like my vagina
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
He'd bedazzaled his ass. Im not even that gay...
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Woke up on the kitchen floor cuddling with the dummy we made of you. Hope your internship is going well.
It's like my ice maker knows when I wanna get drunk
Why isn't there a super hero that comes to the aide of really high kids when they kill their car battery?
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
it was an ACCIDENT
it was a DICK
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
So turns out my new assistant isn't really my assistant. The owner needed a title for his FWB so his wife wouldn't catch on. I got a three hundred a month credit limit boost on my corporate credit card instead.
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