I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Just wanna let u know that we are almost on the pity blow job level of our friendship.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
Tonight, I'll be cleaning. And by cleaning, I mean drinking booze and spraying everything with Febreze.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
Bored at work. googling vodka waffles.
He's like a computer from 2001 in a 2014 world. It just doesn't work. Lots of glitches.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Hot or not, she’s from Boston. It’s hard to nut when she sounds like Mark Wahlberg
Randomize
