i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
I don't know which is worse: knowing all the free porn websites, or knowing which days they update their free porn.
You would get kicked out of the study lounge for being drunk the monday of finals week
I woke up with my bra stapled to the ceiling, her dad was in the hallway winking at me. I was the less drunk of the bunch.
i have learned 4:30 is too early to start pregamming for the midnight harry potter
She was covered in mud grabbed my crotch and said see that handprint that means I called dibs
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
Please ignore everything I told you about my girlfriends vagina last night.
I got slapped by a drag queen and bitten on the arm by either a random girl or a weird mouth shaped dog. Tough to tell without seeing the teeth
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
